Friday, January 12, 2018

2G

3G

4G

के बाद सबसे तेज़ 5G

*Modi_G आये थे*

और अब उनसे भी तेज़ आ गये है..

*Yogi_G*
एक झटके में यूपी की आधी से ज्यादा आबादी शाकाहारी हो गयी
बकरे और मुर्गे भी दुआएं दे रहे है
# हर_हर_मोदी
# घर_घर_योगी
मोदी जी ने पैसा बंद करा दिया
और योगी जी ने भैंसा बंद करा दिया 😀😀😀😀
सरकार ने फरमान जारी किया

पुरूष हो या स्त्री
दुपहिया वाहन चालक को
हेलमेट पहनना अनिवार्य

यह खबर सुनकर पत्नी ने
साडियों वाली अलमारी खोली और बोली :
हे भगवान ! अब इतने सारे
मैचिंग हेलमेट खरीदने पड़ेंगे ! ??????

पति ने घबरा कर एक्टीवा बेच दी ।
😳😳😳
😂
शादीशुदा आदमी की ज़िन्दगी में दो खर्चे तो लगे ही हें...

बीवी गोरी हो तो..
Sun Screen...

और

काली हो तो...
Fair & Lovely.....
😝😝😝😝




😂
कहते हैं👌
जो हँसा, उसका घर बसा़।

पर जिसका घर बसा, उससे पूछो......

वह फिर कब हँसा??
😄😄





😂
 बीवी को समझाना
मतलब :~

32 GB का
Video Download करना.

और

31.5 GB Download
होनेके बाद में
Error दिखाना !!!!
😝😝 🔹🔹🔹😝😝



😎😎😎😎😎😎
 दुनिया में सिर्फ वही लोग शरीफ हैं,
जिनके मोबाइल में पासवर्ड नहीं है।
😳😳😳😳😳🙏


😂
कुछ मेम्बर तो ऐसे है की
 जैसे सत्यनारायण की कथा
सुनने आये हो...

सिर्फ प्रशाद से मतलब है उनको...

अरे भाई ग्रुप में हो तो
अपनी मौजूदगी का कुछ तो
प्रमाण दो...।😄😆😜😉



☺☺😴😴
कुछ लोग whatsapp पर बस
दो ही स्टेटस पोस्ट करते हैं....
पहला:-- good morning....
दूसरा:-- g๑od night
ऐसा लगता है..... जैसे whatsapp की दुकान का सटर खोलने और बंद
करने की जिम्मेदारी इनकी है...... और माल की खरीदने बेचने की जिम्मेदारी हमारी😜😜😜





😝😝😝😝
भारत में लोग
इतने टैलेंटेड होते है
के

.
 
.

गाड़ी हिला के बता देते है
गाड़ी में पेट्रोल कितना है।
😀😀😀





 😱😱😱💮💮
ट्रेन के अन्दर की भीड़ के 'चक्रव्यूह' को तोड़ने का जो  कौशल इन "नमकीन व नारियल" बेचने वालो के पास होता है वो तो 'अभिमन्यु' के पास भी नही था।
😊😊😊😊




😝😝😝😝😝
 कोयल ने पूछा कौवे से
'अभी तक शादी क्यों नहीं की...'🐧

कौवा बोला

बिना शादी के ही जिंदगी में इतनी
काँव-काँव हैं
तो शादी के बाद कितनी होगी..✒
😖😖😆😉






😍😄😃😍
इंसान सबसे ज्यादा तब खुश होता है,
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
जब रेलवे फाटक बंद हो रहा हो और उसके पहले
वो अपनी गाडी निकाल ले..
कसम से ओलम्पिक रेस जीतने वाली फीलिंग होती है
😂😂😂 😌






😳😃😃
So confusing - 😳

माता पिता अपनी बिटिया के लिए सुयोग्य वर खोजते समय दो बातों का ख्याल रखते हैं ...

एक तो लड़का खाते पीते घर का हो.....
.
.
दूसरे .........वो पीता - खाता न हो ....
.
.
भला ये क्या बात
 ....?? 😳😄😂





🌽 Kadak joke of the day 🌽

मंगलसूत्र लटका हो तो लड़की शादीशुदा.....
o(︶︿︶)o



मुहँ लटका हो तो लड़का शादीशुदा
╰_╯😝
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😭

हँसो जी हँसो लेकिन
जल्दी से आगे भी भेजो......
ओर
दूसरों को भी हँसाओ 😆😎😆😋😬😸😹😻💀🙆💁🙋👦👧👨
  I LOVE YOU Ka Full Form                          टीचर : बताओ “आई लव यू” शब्द का आविष्कार किस देश में हुआ? 😉😉
.
स्टूडेंट : चाइना में 😊😊..,
टीचर : वो कैसे ? 😏😏
.
स्टूडेंट : इसमें सारे चाइनीज़ गुण हैं
न कोई गारंटी, ना कोई वारंटी
चले तो चाँद तक, न चले तो शाम तक 😜😜😜

😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇

खतरनाक बच्चा
😉😉😉😉😉

लेडी टीचर :=लोफर और ऑफर में
क्या अंतर है?
स्टूडेंट:= very simple mam,
 "i love u अगर लड़का बोले तो लोफर
और लड़की बोले तो ऑफ़र।😄😜

लेडी टीचर :=
सोच और वहम में क्या फर्क है ?
स्टूडेंट:=आप मस्त आइटम है।ये हमारी
सोच है।
और हम अभी बच्चे
है ये आपका वहम है।😀😃

लेडी टीचर:= अगर
दुनिया में लड़की
नहीं हो तो क्या होगा?

स्टूडेंट:= कॉलेज़ वीरान
गलिया सुनसान
दुनियां परेसान
तन्हा इंसान
ना जानू
ना जान
हर तरफ
"जय हनुमान"
😅😅😂😂
 नया है मार्केट में फेंक दो 😂😂😂😂

 तेरे संग यारा - https://khanamethi.blogger.com
*Whatsapp का कीड़ा*

              👾
           👁  👁
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दूसरे ग्रुप में छोड़ दो
 



😜😝😝😝
जीना 🍄चाहता 🍄हूँ🍄 मगर 🍄जिदगी 🍄राज़🍄 नहीं 🍄आती,🍄
मरना 🍄चाहता 🍄हूँ🍄 मगर 🍄मौत 🍄पास🍄 नहीं 🍄आती,🍄
उदास🍄 हु 🍄इस🍄 जिनदगी 🍄से,🍄
क्युकी 🍄उसकी 🍄यादे🍄 भी 🍄तो🍄 तरपाने🍄 से 🍄बाज🍄 नहीं 🍄आती ..🍄
इंतज़ार🌻 की 🌻आरज़ू🌻 अब 🌻खो🌻 गयी 🌻है,🌻
खामोशियो 🌻की 🌻आदत🌻 हो 🌻गयी🌻 है,🌻
न 🌻सीकवा 🌻रहा 🌻न 🌻शिकायत 🌻किसी🌻 से,🌻
अगर 🌻है 🌻तो 🌻एक🌻 मोहब्बत,🌻
जो 🌻इन 🌻तन्हाइयों🌻 से 🌻हो🌻 गई🌻 है..!🌻
🔵🔹🔹🔹🌹🔹🔹🔹🔵

      *जीवन* में आपसे *कौन मिलेगा,*
             ये *समय* तय करेगा.
     *जीवन* में आप *किस से मिलेंगे,*
         ये आपका *दिल* तय करेगा
    *_परंतु_*
       *जीवन* में आप
     किस-किस के *दिल* में बने रहेंगे,
     यह आपका *व्यवहार* तय करेगा.

🌺✒................🖋🌺
🌿₲๑๑d 🌴ℳ๑®ทïทg🌿
सुलतानपुर  जिला or amethi

🚘कार मे से एक लड़की ने बाहर                     खड़े लड़के से पूछा """        
=    

🌿  "कौन सा  जिला हैं ये......?   🌾🌾  


🏂 लड़का:-अपनी मोबाइल नम्बर दो फिर बताऊंगा ...😃😃


💃लड़की:-हे भगवान!!लगता है सुलतानपुर  जिला आ गया ....😃😃✨✨✨$$$$$✨✨✨                        




🌾🌾🌾एक आदमी बस की खिड़की से बाहर मुह निकाल कर: "भईया, ये कौन सा  जिला.है ?"🌾🌾🌾



🌾🌿बस स्टैंड पर खडे लड़के ने खींच के चांटा मारा और बोला :-🌿🌾



🌾🌿"तुम्हरे बाप के नौकर हैं का बे ? नीचे उतर के खुदहि देख लो"🌿



🌾🌾आदमी : "चलो भाई उतरो, पक्क सुलतानपुर  जिला  आ गये" ⚔⚔🗡🔫🔫 *   * 🔫


🌿किसी ने Google पर search किया..
" **सुलतानपुर  जिला "वालों  को काबू मे कैसे करें."😂😂😂

🌿🌿Google का जवाब आया...
"औकात मे रहकर search  करें.."
😋😋😋
* *सुलतानपुर  जिला  वालो से पंगा मत लेना...🌿🌿

🌿क्योंकि,🌿


🌾जिन तूफानों में लोगो के झोपड़े उड़ जाते है,
उन तूफानों में तो *सुलतानपुर  जिला  वाले  कपड़े सुखाते हैं |☘
I
👕👚👔👗👖

मेट्रो तो* सुलतानपुर  जिला में भी आ
जाती लेकिन...
...
...
...
..सुलतानपुर जिला
.
🌿के लोगो ने मना कर दिया, ...🌿
...
...
...
🌾कहते हैं 🍃

🚊ऐसी ट्रेन किस काम की
जिसकी खिड़की पर भागकर लटका ना जा
सके ।🚊
😉😉😉
हम बादशाहो के बादशाह है इसलिए गुलामो जैसी हरकते नहीं,
नोटो पर फोटो हमारी भी हो सकती थी पर लोगो की जेब मे रहना हमारी फितरत नहीं..!!

 👰एक लड़की स्वर्ग मे गयी और
यमराज से बोली :
मेरी शादी किसी *सुलतानपुर  जिला के
लड़के से करवा दो..👰


🐃यमराज : सब्र कर ले बेटी..
पहले सुलतानपुर  जिला  के
किसी लड़के को स्वर्ग मे तो आने दे. आज तक तो कोई आया नहीं.🐃

😝😝
सुधर जाओ कमीनों,
बात उपर तक पहुच गयी है
*सुलतानपुर  जिला वालों से पंगा मत
Lo😂😂😂

🌿टीचर  ने *सुलतानपुर  जिला के छात्रों से पुछा।
टीचर: एक बात बताओ, तुम* सुलतानपुर  जिला पढाई में ध्यान क्यों नहीं देते?☘☘🌿


👱एक , *सुलतानपुर  जिला  का छात्र: बोला --- क्योंकि पढाई सिर्फ दो वजहों से की जाती है।
👉1st डर से
👉2nd शौक से
और,
फालतू के शौक हम  रखते नहीं और
डरते तो किसी के बाप से नहीं।🌿
.........
.........
.........

🌿किसी ने भगवान से पुच्छा कि
हे भगवान इन  *सुलतानपुर  जिला
का क्या इलाज करें -------
भगवान ने कहा----🌿
                       

     🌿 अबे चुप🌿

         🌿हरामखोर🌿


  🌿इन *सुलतानपुर  जिला वालों से मुझे बहुत प्रेम है कयोंकि 🌿
                           
   🌾ये सुलतानपुर  जिला वाले जुबान के कडवे,बड़बक और खतरनाक है लेकिन ये *दिल* के बहुत हीo ईमानदार, सच्चे और अच्छे
इन्सान है🍁🍁🍁


😝 *सुलतानपुर  जिला वालो घुमा दो हर ग्रुप में   🛫🛫🛫🛫🛫🛫🛫🛫      ⚔⚔⚔⚔  Agar **सुलतानपुर  जिला के हो तो शेयर करो...😂😎😎😎